A Better Life

In this time of social distancing and just plain staying home, it must be made clear that although you may be alone, there is no reason at all to be lonely.  Most of us (I included) spent most of our time buried in screens of one sort or another (Phone, Tablet, Computer) to connect with those not co-located before the pandemic.  Honestly, I don't believe I have felt bored for one second since I am isolated at home.  Here there is a myriad of distractions.  From the internet to TV to games and apps on my devices.  So, there are many ways to overcome boredom which honestly I have grown very accustomed to. Not to mention, the really short commute to my home office.   It is important to stay connected to family, friends and work buddies.  A simple phone call can alleviate the sense of being totally isolated.  I know that I am fortunate that I am isolated with my wife which has its own benefits and liabilities.  Since I am in the habit of going to...

Well as the world has gone absolutely nuts over the Corona Virus (COVID-19), I have watched and waited until it entered my sphere of influence.  It has now affected a person I admire and whose work I have enjoyed for many decades and my employer has now jumped into the fray.   Tom Hanks has been an influence for me since high school and for these 40 odd years he has rarely disappointed.  I was saddened to hear he and his wife had tested positive for the virus.  Since he was working on his next opus, I get that risks must be taken to advance his career.  However, I am a little disheartened to think someone would have exposed him and his lovely wife to this illness.  Anyway, word is that they are both doing just fine and are quarentined for their and everyone elses safety. My employer which is a multinational corporation has now joined in the preparation to protect and serve their employees and clients.  For today, we are all (at least in the US...

In all of the English language, no two words personify hope and the unexpected as What If.  These 2 words form the basis for most if not almost all stories we hold near and dear to our hearts.  It is a very prolific technique for exploring a new idea for a novel, screenplay, poem, prose and any other form where words dominate.  Personally, I like to ask the What If? question for any point in my life where I had to make a decision that formed the iconic fork in the road.  What if I had not married her?  What if I hadn't left this college?  What if I had not finished college, what might I have done?  Given the way life went, what if I had pursued my true dream instead of the safe path I actually followed? What if can also be applied to purely fictional enterprises like What if our legal system was more of a lottery than a process.  In other words, you are accused, they roll the dice which determines guilt, innocents and the length of your prison t...

While I am very happy with my current position, sometimes it would be nice to have a bit more money to work with.  When things get particularly tight, there always seems to be someone who wants a bit more than I feel I can afford.  Lease renewal, there is an additional $150 per month, health insurance open enrollment, now there is an additional $75 per pay check, the list goes on and on.  Seems everyone seizes the opportunity for the money grab.  Money Grab is a generic term that means someone or some entity is taking what they can while they can.  Leasing companies are the worst, especially when the property is taken over by a new management company.  They invested a considerable sum to acquire your property and are going to do everything they can to recoup that investment.  All of a sudden, I have a charge for natural gas.  My unit does not have natural gas, just electric but the community swimming pool and spa uses gas so everyone now has t...

In my daily discourses, I notice how pitifully poor my cohorts working vocabulary.  Seemingly lost in a myriad of colloquialisms and profanity interspersed for variety.  Must we always offend with each opening of our lips.  Surely, some attention must have been paid in grammar school when the vocabulary building exercises were laid upon us.  Fore I know most have college degrees from one sort of institution of higher learning or another.  My esteemed colleagues from the Ivy League variety do exercise a more refined discourse for mostly vane pursuits but for the others, please buy a dictionary and read it!  I do not raise myself to any higher, loftier position just awareness that there are quite a number of words that can be interjected for the banal comments that I witness on a daily (hourly sometimes) basis.  For those times when I try to elevate the conversation to a more refined level while discussing simple concepts like what does one wish to eat...

Today marks 10 years since I put my ex-wife on a plane to Las Vegas.  A trip that was presented to me as going with friends (married couples) but in actuality and most deceptively was a ruse to spend time with her boy toy who I believe she ultimately married.  Adding pain to agony, I also paid for approximately $600 in Harley-Davidson t-shirts according to a reliable source.  This was but a step toward my life separated from my possessions but that ultimately freed my soul to join with the love of my life.  When reviewing the events of that faithful year (2009) I see that a decision was made for me that I would have never chosen for myself.  The divorce agonizing not just for me but for all those around me as is the case in these experiences.  No man is an island, Jack indeed.  It started with the discovery of an email that my wife had received from a divorce attorney, culminating in an agreement that haunts me to this day.  The key word for t...

Last night as my wife is wont to do, she suggested watching a movie together.  Now as a dutiful husband, I complied happily, at first.  So we are watching "Sleepless in Seattle" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.  Lovely movie, a little unrealistic but lovely just the same.  So, okay so this is nice and enjoyable but then comes "League of Their Own" with Tom Hanks again.  Now, this being a sports movie, it should be fine but then on finer inspection it comes across as a bonafide movie that mainly females would enjoy (colloquially known as a "Chick Flick" - no offense intended). Sleepless in Seattle also qualifies but I have to say the Sappiness index (my own creation) goes skyward with "A League of Their Own" because first, it is about a problem that the baseball owners faced during World War II when their best players were tapped to serve in the armed services.  What is a baseball owner to do?  Create a league of women players, of course!  They were...

As I prepare to attend the comic styling's of one Gary Owen this weekend at the Addison Improv outside of Dallas, TX, I am drawn to the ever present question, what is so entertaining about stand up comedy? Gary Owen has a take that I can so relate to since we are both from humble beginnings and married to women of a more favorable complexion.  His routine about going to a child's baptism at an African-American church is so on point.  My wife's cousin's little boy was being baptized and I kid you not we were there for 3 full hours and yes there was a step team to boot. On the regular, I will binge watch some of my favorite stand ups from the days of yore on YouTube.  Among my favorites are Steven Wright (deadpan at it's best)  Sam Kinison (snort a line and you too can wail like a banshee)  Robin Williams (tragic but oh so funny)  Richard Pryor (remembering sneaking a listen to him back in the 70's as a kid)  Chris Rock (just a funny dude with ...

Back a few years ago, when I was going through a divorce, I had a blog.  Yes, I jumped on the proverbial bandwagon and it was cool.  I had about 300 followers and everything was working well.  The articles were of the lifestyle variety, you know the type, top 10 reasons my life sucks more now than before, a review of the best mental wards for depression, just a flow of consciousness pieces. Fast forward to last year, when I discovered a couple of blogs I had set up and forgotten.  They were on the blogger platform including this blog and there was some traffic.  Nothing spectacular but some page views on a few articles someone found interesting enough to click on.  Now I combined the blogs for this blog and now I find that getting followers is much more difficult. In my mind, blogging is a great past time but making money, the kind of money everyone talks about.  Like leave your 6 figure salary job for the easy life of a blogger just doesn't exist ...

So, now that I have my bonus and raise, we (my wife and I) have decided on some goals: New Furniture (we are still using the furniture we each had before we were married 4 years ago) New Mattress (our current one is that one I bought for myself over 6 years ago) Newer Car (our current vehicle is showing its age at 180,000+ miles) Travelling at least once a quarter So now, we have achieved the first 2 items on the list which is great but now we must find a car and time to travel. The car I get since our current one is starting to have random issues, as one will once hitting 180,000+ miles. As far as travel is concerned, not my favorite activity since all travel is linked to visiting one of her friends who I don’t know or have only met once. Very awkward and quite expensive. In addition to these goals, we are to be debt free by the end of the year. So, each trip amounts to about $1,000 and on top of that we are to rid ourselves of all debt. Right. I will get right on it. Unfortu...

So, you go through a horrible divorce and you meet a wonderful woman who helps you through a bit of the pain once the dust has settled.  You think, I could be happy with her.  You date, you get to know each other, uncovering all manner of skeletons in each others proverbial closets since you are not 20 but 30 odd years down the road further. So stuff has happened.  In her case, a couple of daughters.  One is in college and the other in graduate school.  Great, you think, a visit here and there maybe a pending wedding or two in the not so distant future.  You get along with the daughters and they are excited their mother has found someone, maybe not as complexion compatible as they would have expected but they deal.  Now a little while later a baby is on the way.  The parents are in no way prepared for this eventuality so the child becomes a semi-regular resident in your home.  At first with the mother and then on her own.  So fast forwar...

It's always the question people ask me.  Where do you go to get away from your problems?  Everyone assumes my life must be difficult due to my divorce and you know what they are right.  Below are a few pictures of where I go to seek serenity from the madness of the day:     Sometimes you just need a walk in the park to embrace fresh air, nature and your own thoughts.  I find my mind calms down a good bit when I take a walk. 

Sometimes I wonder if we don't miss the entire point of life by concentrating on achieving or possessing and less time on enjoying and celebrating.  By this I mean we spend so much time trying to achieve success or possess material wealth instead of enjoying what we have and celebrating our lives as we know them right now. Having goals is admirable but sometimes I think we focus too much on achieving more and should just take a step back every once in a while and enjoy our accomplishments and current position in our respective societies.  For instance, I have several guitars. They are not bad, cheap or unusable by any means but I find myself trolling the Internet for other guitars.  Would I be better off if I had a Rick Turner handmade guitar or the Eric Clapton Signature Fender Stratocaster?  In some ways but I already have 3 guitars which are amazing in their own way (A Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster, a PRS Santana SE and an Ovation Celebrity Acoustic/Electr...

Events occur in almost random fashion and are usually pretty nondescript for the most part but every once in a while a situation will command all of your attention and throw you back just a bit.  In the week that preceded this particular weekend you would not have noticed much that would have been noteworthy but then a realization occurred that practically floored me.  The people who I had trusted completely proved themselves as self serving as others in my life.  This has made me have to become guarded. I generally trust people to do the right thing because I still believe people on the whole are generally good.  However, in recent times more people close to me have challenged my beliefs to the point that I am not sure who to trust.  It is notoriously unsettling to have to rely on ones own intuition to make potentially life changing decisions.  Especially in areas that I may not be particularly well informed. Moving into the weekend I did what I always...

Since getting my new laptop, the one thing missing in my life has been the use of free internet phone calling.  Not really a big mystery since voice over IP or VOIP for the tech savvy has been around and in place for some time now but there is nothing like video calling someone. I have my little brother to thank for exposing me to this wonderful way to communicate freely and well free.  It is a little disconcerting to see yourself on the little video screen but I guess that is what those lifesize cardboard cutouts are good for.  Perhaps a caricature of oneself could be so positioned as to give the impression that you are well coiffed and dressed when in actuality you haven't bathed, shaved or dressed in oh so many days.  Minus the downside of video revealing your inner soul, I must say it was enlightening to talk to my bro just like he was in the room with me instead of actually being 300 or so miles away.  He actually tried to do a 3 way calling thing but h...

When I came in from visiting the Galleria I noticed that they had a video clip of the Jimmy Fallon show on Yahoo!.  The clip was of a song performed by the rejuvenated band the Cars.  Back in the day (1979, 1980) I remember hearing the Cars "Let's Go" song for the first time.  It was with a girl (woman actually since she was 5 years my senior) and she just came back to me so vividly while watching this video.  Debbi was a very special sort.  I knew her younger sister from school and my uncle knew their mother since he had repaired some sort of ding in their family car. Debbi and I were not romantically involved per se but she is the one I consider my first love.  We would hang out by the pool in her apartment complex, go for a drive or just kick back and talk.  We worked together for the same company and really clicked on a very endearing level but never resorted to physical intimacy. This is what I would really consider the ultimat...

Throughout my life I have been lumbered with this particular label and not in a particularly flattering way mind you.  Paranoia seems to be used very loosely when describing someone who may just be a bit more careful (or informed?). Some of us may have a very good reason to believe that we are being watched, followed, targeted by groups (yes if the government) or otherwise nefariously engaged.  I believe the problem is people lull themselves into a false sense of security.  False in the sense that it makes no sense whatsoever that anyone is at anytime immune to violent attacks.  Now will that attack be from a terrorist, organized crime or government entity, who knows.  The point is, as my psychology professor use to say, sometimes someone is following you.  No one wants to believe that we are not completely safe at any given moment.  However, there are events that seem to threaten that particular point of view.  My own take on this situation is ...

Slow day in the neighborhood.  Didn't sleep very well so I was dragging terribly.  Fixed me a salad because at my age it never hurts to take in a little more roughage.  I considered writing but never really sat down to do any articles although I did write one impassioned blog post for the "I'm Going Through a Divorce, Woe is Me" blog.  Self-loathing at its finest if I do say so myself.  I woke up feeling mighty uninspired because I was considering my purpose in this life.  My purpose should have been to get out of bed, take a shower and greet the day.  Instead I went shower-less, undressed and moped around for a day.  In retrospect I probably did need this day to dwell on my situation.   I watched a couple of episodes of the blues documentary by Martin Scorsese, a couple of episodes of The Big Bang Theory and then I topped it all off with a trio of Tyler Perry movies.  I just love me some Madea!  Yes, she is irreverent, brash and...

Creative expression is a very important part of my life. Throughout my life I have tried many different ways to appease the need for expression. I always seem to come back to the big three: cooking, music and writing. Cooking When I cook I don't necessarily use a recipe. Last night for example, I had a hind quarter of chicken and german sausage thawed out. So, I thumbed through my small collection of cook books. Nothing stood out as the recipe for these particular ingredients so I improvised. I took out the old corning ware casserole dish. Cut the chicken at the leg and thigh joint. Sliced up the german sausage. Cut up about half of an onion. I then added white wine vinegar, a splash or two of balsamic vinegar, some herbs of choice and voila a dish was born (after substantial time in the oven of course). Nothing more invigorating than combining ingredients and having an edible (if not wholly delicious) main course. Music Another avenue of expression I travel down quite fre...

With the unnatural heat we are currently having it is a good time to determine how weather affects our lives.  Not only is extreme, prolonged heat uncomfortable but it also affects our mental attitude, our choice of activities and our productivity. High temperatures can turn the most mild mannered individual into a seething, cesspool of bitterness and rage.  It starts with impatience and grows to full on verbal confrontations very much out of character.  However, if take someone who is on the brink of exploding and add extreme heat well this could very well end that calm, collected, professional atmosphere cultivated in todays modern office environment. We look at fruits and how heat affects them.  In a normal arid environment you expect a certain growth pattern with adequate supplies of water and sunshine.  This should conjure up memories of the old photosynthesis equation.  Carbon Dioxide + water with adequate sunshine yields carbohydrate...