Parental Chores for Grandparents

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So, you go through a horrible divorce and you meet a wonderful woman who helps you through a bit of the pain once the dust has settled.  You think, I could be happy with her.  You date, you get to know each other, uncovering all manner of skeletons in each others proverbial closets since you are not 20 but 30 odd years down the road further. So stuff has happened.  In her case, a couple of daughters.  One is in college and the other in graduate school.  Great, you think, a visit here and there maybe a pending wedding or two in the not so distant future.  You get along with the daughters and they are excited their mother has found someone, maybe not as complexion compatible as they would have expected but they deal.  Now a little while later a baby is on the way.  The parents are in no way prepared for this eventuality so the child becomes a semi-regular resident in your home.  At first with the mother and then on her own.  So fast forward 4 years later and now the child resides with you every other week.

The challenges this presents is not trivial because (a) you have never raised a child so you are completely out of your element and (b) the parents are no where to be found to help raise this child. 

Now, to be fair, I did spend a good bit of time babysitting my nieces and nephew but not on the full time rigor that is now required.  I should emphasize however that I do love my granddaughter and do everything I can for her but she is a handful to say the least.

When one finds oneself in this situation it also causes a considerable strain on you and your wife because beyond the usual issues with dealing with building a life in a second marriage you are now having to deal with a child who insists on being in on every conversation and eating exactly what you are eating.  If you are not use to these constant interruptions, it can be a bit much. 

So, given the fact that all people have emotional cycles where they can tolerate pretty much anything the child can throw at them to having any variation in the routine throwing them into a chaotic state of mind and screaming for the hills, allowances have to be made.  One day my wife is sensible one and another day it is my turn.

At the end of the day, we make it work but it has taken considerable effort and is a constant work in progress.

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