A Better Life

This past week has been one of the most difficult I can remember.  This includes the 2 years of anguish I suffered that culminated in my divorce.  First I had lost a cousin I grew up with.  We would go over to his house to play, he would come over to our house.  We went through Junior High and High School together.  I knew his wife, sister and his mother is one of my favorite aunts.  As losses go, this was a hard one.  He was was also one of my step-fathers favorite nephews.  My cousin worked for the railroad, same one my step-father worked for and enjoyed very much.  The other thing is my cousins father died when he was a baby and was someone my step-father looked up to.  His father had been fighting in Korea and contracted a disease which presented itself as cancer which also killed my cousin and is now affecting his sister.  So, going to a funeral which was a tragedy but when we (my girlfriend had accompanied me for support) arr...

Ever been approached to do something you just know is wrong but yet find yourself considering doing it anyway just to avoid conflict? I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me. Ironically it usually involves someone I should be able to trust. It is amazing to me how often people will use a personal relationship built on trust or at least the illusion of trust to pursue their own agenda. No matter what pain this may cause the other person they have no problem manipulating and beating down the other person. Would this be so bad if it was a perfect stranger? Is the problem amplified because of the betrayal of trust? I believe it is a matter of opportunity more than anything else. I find it more painful that someone would betray my trust rather than thrust upon me one scam or another. In light of the fact that a trusting relationship has been betrayed it is even more hurtful when they use privileged information to further their cause to take what is not theirs. Amazingly...

As technology develops, we have to adapt to the changes that these new advances afford. Unfortunately technological advances often clash with our social interactioins which were deemed important in the pre-technology age. It seems the more gadgets we get to improve our lives to more isolated we become. Is this good or bad? Some if not most would say that we are becoming a society of disconnected drones rather than members of a society. Ever seen a bunch of people sitting around texting, each other? Verbal communication is becoming a lost art. It seems it may be time to turn off the smart phones and actually engage other people in actual communication. Case in point, my friend who is female, asked me to an event. It was a dance and well as I made it ever so clear I do not dance. so while she is busy with others I inadvertently turned to my iPhone to write up some ideas for future blog entries. This was considered offensive since I wasn't engaging others in conversation. I have made...

Today (August 16) marks the day three giants in their respective professions departed this life. Elvis Presley, the one who is probably celebrated most on this day, in 1977; Babe Ruth in 1948 and Bela Lugosi in 1956. All three of these men rode high in their professional life and were given all the luxuries this life could afford. Excess ruled their lives and their talent paved the way. From humble beginnings they rose above the rest. In popular music, who can top the impact Elvis had on the generations during his lifetime and since? What child hasn’t heard of Babe Ruth? What film student doesn’t know the work of Bela Lugosi. Their impact on all of our lives has been significant and will carry on for many generations beyond their seemingly short lives.

Just as a house has rooms for specific purposes, your life should have these same "rooms" for very specific purposes. Ever wonder why all houses have the same basic rooms? Our shelter reflects elements we need in each of our lives. You need a kitchen/dining room, a living room, a family room (or den as some would call it), a bedroom and a bathroom. Kitchen/Dining Room - Every house must have a place to prepare and consume nourishment, whether it be a cookie or a 6 course meal. The need for nourishment is key to survival. Without nourishment we would perish. We need regular intake of food to provide energy for the necessary and sometimes unnecessary activities in our life. Every feel sluggish? Time to visit the kitchen/dining room of our life to take in more energy. If your car runs out of fuel what happens? It stops, won't go, becomes pretty much useless. We are the same, without nourishment we stop and become all but useless. Living room - Just as we need physical nouris...

In the course of everyday life, we find ourselves surrounded by music. These songs can come from many sources. The radio, a movie, a radio commercial, a television commercial, the internet or the neighbor playing an instrument for fun perhaps even a band playing in someones garage. The music can sometimes trigger memories. Most of our firsts and lasts are defined or at least marked by music or a particular song. It could be the first day of school, a song playing on the radio. Your first kiss, the first day of your first job or just simply a day that went particularly well. The point is that a song can trigger wonderful memories or memories we would rather not remember. Memories we don’t want to recall can be painful and be associated with a song that was playing at the time such as a funeral, a particularly unpleasant event where we were a victim or just a song playing when you learned of a tragic event. The songs we select to listen to whether it be in a playlist on our iP...

This is a cautionary tale of taking steps but not following through and seeing someone else reap the benefits. So, a little history is in order. While separated from my wife on a slow boat to divorce (2 year separation) I started setting up blogs to document the lessons I was learning going through the divorce process. I bought several domain names over several months. One of those domains was to indulge my interest in herb gardening and cooking with herbs. I had even written an article about taking an interest and turning it into a website. As time went on, my writing increased and I kept thinking I was going to do something about this herb website but alas that day never came. I agreed to go to counseling which resulted in a massive loss in confidence and so all writing ceased for months. Today I was going through the domains and websites I had had and realized that one of my domains had been lost, sold and the person who bought had made the dream I had a reality. They had a...