When They Ask What Do You Want–How To Answer

How many times have you been asked “What Do You Want?”.  This could be with respect to what to have for dinner, what movie to watch or what college to attend.  How do you answer these questions?  Do they really want to know what you want or for you to agree with what they have already decided?  So many times I believe this is not so much a question for honest input but more for affirmation for a decision already made.  This puts one in a very awkward position how they should answer this particular question.  Personally, I find the most appropriate answer is the honest truth.  You will know immediately if they were really wanting the truth or for you to agree with their predetermined choice.  In my dealings with people I try to keep this in mind and when I ask this question I am honestly wanting them to tell me what they want not what I want them to want.  Makes life much easier.  However, if your goal is to not hurt their feelings there are a few tell tale signs that will tell you if they are sincere with their request for your opinion.  First, the way they ask.  If they are asking you what you want to eat and when you respond you see them giving signs of disappointment or worse disapproval then your best bet is to just throw the question back at them, “What do you want to eat?” with emphasis on the word “you”.  Secondly, context.  The context can be very important.  For instance, if you come home and they are dressed to the 9’s and ask you what you want to eat you can bet that responding with anything involving a drive through is not going to be acceptable.  Take in your surroundings, look at the expression on their face and make the good choice.  Finally, look at the expression on their face.  If they are smiling and seem to be in a good mood then an honest answer will probably go a long way.  I usually assume I have done something right or they are just generally pleased with their life at this moment so any response will be welcome.  However, if they look like the world has just beat them down consider your choices wisely.  Generally, the more money involved the better in this situation.  They probably want to be pampered and fast food is just not going to cut it. 

So, to sum up, a casual “What do you want?” can lead you to bliss or straight to the front line of a battle field.  Choose your words wisely.