Perfect Day or Perfect Storm
Waking up every morning brings a whole new opportunity for experience both good and not so good. Sometimes a simple email can make or break a day but it usually takes more than any one single event. It is the culmination of a whole bunch of events coming together to make the perfect day or perfect storm as the case may be.
So, what does a perfect day look like, well usually it starts with a dream I wake up from which was life affirming or otherwise positive. My drive to work would have been surprisingly smooth, there would be no messages left on voice mail and everything at work will be business as usual.
Now, a perfect storm is quite different. I will have probably received an email reminding me of some money I must pay. When I get to work I will have a voice mail from my ex-wife telling some particular story to get more money or one of the debtors for which she is responsible demanding payment, the drive in to work would have been peppered with one delay or another (usually several) and work will have several surprises for me, none good.
So, what do you do? You hope for something in between bliss and total disaster. Most days lean toward the good with a few bad mixed in for good measure. I always figure that if 2 our of 3 parts of my life are good then life isn't too bad. The three parts being my job, my ex-wife and others (parents, girlfriend, other friends, etc.).
Fortunately, most of my days are good but when all 3 parts of your life go bad, it is time to regroup and rely on friends and family (at least those talking to you who aren't part of the problem) to talk through it. The main thing is to have support until the disaster passes (for me this is usually no more than 3 or 4 days but it could be longer depending on the nature of the disaster). Having people to talk to has been very helpful during the most trying times and going through separation leading ultimately to my divorce was probably one of the most trying times I have yet experienced. The loss felt during this time was and is tremendous but with family and friends, especially a girlfriend, life is much more enjoyable now. I hope everyone reading this has a support system in place, in place, if not please connect with your family and friends. It is no fun going through these problem times alone.
So, what does a perfect day look like, well usually it starts with a dream I wake up from which was life affirming or otherwise positive. My drive to work would have been surprisingly smooth, there would be no messages left on voice mail and everything at work will be business as usual.
Now, a perfect storm is quite different. I will have probably received an email reminding me of some money I must pay. When I get to work I will have a voice mail from my ex-wife telling some particular story to get more money or one of the debtors for which she is responsible demanding payment, the drive in to work would have been peppered with one delay or another (usually several) and work will have several surprises for me, none good.
So, what do you do? You hope for something in between bliss and total disaster. Most days lean toward the good with a few bad mixed in for good measure. I always figure that if 2 our of 3 parts of my life are good then life isn't too bad. The three parts being my job, my ex-wife and others (parents, girlfriend, other friends, etc.).
Fortunately, most of my days are good but when all 3 parts of your life go bad, it is time to regroup and rely on friends and family (at least those talking to you who aren't part of the problem) to talk through it. The main thing is to have support until the disaster passes (for me this is usually no more than 3 or 4 days but it could be longer depending on the nature of the disaster). Having people to talk to has been very helpful during the most trying times and going through separation leading ultimately to my divorce was probably one of the most trying times I have yet experienced. The loss felt during this time was and is tremendous but with family and friends, especially a girlfriend, life is much more enjoyable now. I hope everyone reading this has a support system in place, in place, if not please connect with your family and friends. It is no fun going through these problem times alone.
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