Wives, Girlfriends and Significant Others

Recently I progressed from having a wife to a girlfriend who has now come close to being a significant other.  What is the difference?

First, I must say that on the surface the difference would seem to be a level of commitment but to be honest my commitment to my girlfriend is much stronger than I was ever committed to my wife.  No, I believe it has to do with expectations and realizations.  When one is married, there is a moral imperative and a legal obligation to provide for and devote ones self and resources to the spouse.  In the girlfriend scenario, I believe the commitment is more personal and voluntary since there are no laws governing the separation of property if things go awry. If you split up with a girlfriend it is just between you to divvy up any common assets.  No lawyers, judges or courts.  Just two people going their own separate ways.  Why can't our divorces be so civil?  Is the level of commitment really enhanced by the intervention of a legal system?  In my experience both personal and observed this just isn't the case.  If you are committed to someone it has to be a personal decision which comes from a connection with another person that you see as worth "forsaking all others".  

So, when does a girlfriend become a "significant other"?  I believe it is when casual dating stops and a devotion to spending all our time and resources on this one person, a significant other as it were, begins.  Once we parade this person around in front of friends, family and the all important meeting with the parents, then I believe we have brought this person into our inner circle of influences.  For me, it is necessary to get buy in from my friends, family and the harshest critic of all, my mother.  My mother will tell it like it is no matter who she offends which makes her a perfect barometer for future success.  If my mother doesn't like her then the girl must go.  However, if my mother likes her then maybe she can stay in my life for a while.  

Once a decision is made to only date this one person I believe we should consider all of the advantages and disadvantages of such a choice.  First of all, the who problem with communicable diseases is more controlled, provided the other is also committed to a monogamous relationship.  The problem of remembering your dates name doesn't become such a problem not mention significant dates, like date you met, date you first kissed and the all important birthday.  

When dating multiple people this can get confusing and almost disastrous when pressed.  This is why the whole being married and having a girlfriend gets so perplexing to me.  I had a hard enough time remembering all of the significant dates for my wife but to have a totally set of dates to remember and God forbid any of the dates should fall close to each other well that could be the end of life as we know it.  

Imagine setting up a romantic anniversary celebration for your wife but unfortunately set it up for the anniversary date of your girlfriend.  Yes, much blood shed, tears and gnashing of teeth could ensue.  So now not only do you have a girlfriend who is mad at you which could be expensive to overcome but now you have a wife with confirmed suspicions of your dalliance which could render you without sufficient funds which means you who had a wife and girlfriend is now left with no one at all.  Oh you have your memories but had you sorted out the dates correctly your world would still be intact with no one none the wiser.  Deception does indeed have its price.  

At some point, of course, the girlfriend/significant other is going to want to move the relationship to the "next level" which involves purchasing a ring of no small significance.  Now your commitment has reached the level materialistic importance.  Now, they are going to want to be intimately involved in your wallet and financial well being.  Are you ready for such an invasion of your privacy not to mention loss of control of your finances.  It would be a good time to take a trip down memory lane to remember how the first marriage came to be and what finally ended it before you walk down that crooked trail again.  Careful planning is the key and should always be discussed with family and friends because if it isn't right they will definitely let you know.  

So, whether she be wife, girlfriend, significant other or somewhere in between a price will be paid and only you can determine if it is worth it or not.  For me, so far, I have no complaints but then again I haven't crossed the line from girlfriend to fiance which is a whole other matter entirely.