Reflecting on the Time Since the Signing

You know what the signing is?  That is the moment you put your signature, your name to an everlasting document called the divorce decree that will haunt and curse you from that moment until the day you die and beyond. 

So, how does this event last past death? Because your legacy will be how you handled yourself post signing. Your offspring and descendants, friends, acquaintance's will discuss what the divorce seemed to be for you while you were breathing topside.

That agreement will be revisited, reviled, rebuked and studied to death.  Literally.  If there is ever a time when you are not in your right mind it is when you are presented with this agreement,  or judge ordered agreement to sign and be bound to for the duration.  The duration may be from now on, for 3 years or until your children are the age of majority. 

After the fact, after all the payments have been paid and when you are reflecting on your life in that rest home as your eyes dim and breathe your last breath that agreement will most likely be in the front of your mind as you drift into the sweet bye and bye.  All that money you spent, all that resentment and all that wasted effort will form the heart of your regrets for your life.  What a shame.  No matter what you accomplished since that moment will pale in comparison because divorce represents nothing more than a low spot in the timeline of your life.

Hopefully, you learned some things that helped you have a very successful subsequent marriage or at least formed some very lasting relationships.  As time goes on past that moment of the signing you will reflect on what went wrong.  You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get mad and you may even thank God it is over but in the end that marriage for whatever it was will now be over and the divorce represents a finality to something that should have lasted "til death do you part".  How do you go from "I do" to "I won't"?  So many reasons, so many situations that can build until that final moment when one or the other or both of you declare that this is over, done with and "I don't want to do this any more".  In my situation and it may be your situation to, that the decision was made for you.  The other one made the proclamation and you are expected to jump on board because once that decision has been made it is difficult to impossible to go back and make it work.  Especially when one party has moved on to be with another.  Nothing is more painful than seeing decades of effort flushed down the proverbial drain. 

So what is a poor boy to do?  Dust yourself off and make the best of a bad situation.  Fortunately, I was blessed with a loving woman to share my life and yes in my first marriage there were mistakes made but thank God I get another chance and I will work hard to make sure those same mistakes are not repeated.  Am I not going to make mistakes?  Of course, I will but hopefully nothing so major as to end another relationship.  Nothing like the love of a loving woman to keep a man going down the straight and narrow.